Elijah replied “I am the only one left” 1 Kings 19:10. Jesus said: “I am the vine, you are the branches” John 15:9
Wherever I go as a shopper, driver, diner, passenger or spectator, I see people old and young, wealthy and poor, employed or retired carrying a cell phone; a portable means of contact. An indicator of the human need to be in contact, however tenuous! Contact is turned into connection not by the phone, but by the person using it. Contact may create a relationship which could develop into a friendship leading to the possibility of love and marriage. As two become united into one in marriage the bond deepens until the connection is severed by divorce or death. In the period of adjustment that follows, desolation, sadness accompanied by loneliness may rob the one left of life.
Loneliness depletes the spirit. The vacant bed, chair or table; the absence of company, conversation, touch and presence foster a feeling of loss and silent emptiness; a sense which can be toxic and linger in the heart for many years. There are many lonely people around us; in flats, frail-care, hidden behind security fences, or on the streets sheltering beneath a piece of cardboard. One can feel lonely in a crowd, or in a class room. Without connection or communication loneliness can envelope us like an invisible cloak isolating, suffocating us with unspoken longings. Elijah, after his long trek to Mt. Horeb, must have been in such a state when, hiding in a cave, he expressed his mixed feelings of devotion and fear to God: “I am the only one left in Israel”. Jesus revealed his need of connection in Gethsemane when he asked the disciples “Couldn’t you watch one hour with me?” He wanted their support. The truth given, by grace, to us is we are never alone – though we may feel alone and disconnected God is always with us. He comes to us wanting to give himself to us, but we may be unaware of him. Sadness, pain, preoccupation can black out the light of awareness.
Silence can deepen this darkness or restore the light. To fulfill their desire for God some early Christians chose to leave the busyness and distractions of the city and move into the desert drawn to it by the aloneness, stillness, silence, emptiness it provided. The silence of the desert and the stars ‘spoke’ to them of the vastness, mystery and presence of God, but silence may also contain terrors lying dormant in the interior of the mind. After his baptism Jesus went into the desert and the first thing that came to him was the devil and wild beasts. Carl Jung the renowned psychiatrist commented on the power of silence to release the demons deep in our unconscious mind. In silence we are can lose control allowing the voices which are normally muffled by other noises to spring unbidden into our mind scaring us with their intensity, reminding us of the demonic, shameful, tendencies, images, or thoughts we have suppressed. Paradoxically therefore silence may be dangerous, exposing our weaknesses, or it may allow healing and restoration. After the demons the angels came to Jesus. He sometimes chose to go alone into the countryside or climb into the silence of the mountain to renew his strength and spirit in communion with his Father. He advised his followers to go into their room and shut the door to be quiet with God. To have a silent moment Suzanne Wesley threw her apron over her head. One writer described silence as the language of God. Mystics, contemplatives, intercessors, activists have turned to silence in order to listen to God.
This kind of withdrawal can transform destructive loneliness into creative solitude. Matthew tell us that after providing supper for five thousand: ‘With the crowd dispersed he (Jesus) climbed the mountain so he could be by himself and pray. He stayed there alone, late into the night’ (14:23 TM):’ Aloneness may seem like a cave. The psalmist discovered this secret of living with God; subject to stressful pressures like we are, he said: “Be still and know that I am God”. He is identifying the positive power of solitude. We live in a noisy, fast paced, frenetic, intrusive world crammed with activities which sap our energy and trivial pursuits that distract the mind. In a hectic productive environment where control, organization is crucial to be still in silence seems to be a waste of time, useless, unproductive. Solitude affords us the opportunity to be still and know at a deeper level who we are, what our destiny is and a clearer awareness of who God is and what his purpose for life is. God wants us to know him and to love him. Henri Nouwen a counsellor, lecturer and prolific writer says ‘Without solitude it is virtually impossible to live a spiritual life’. After an astounding victory over the prophets of Baal, Elijah fled in fear to Mt. Horeb. In the silence of a cave he became aware of God’s presence. What is it like inside your cave? Is it pantomime show of memories, regrets, desires, worries, fears? Follow the psalmist’s counsel, “Be still”. Sit in silence. God will come. Allow his intimate presence and his unlimited transforming grace to reconnect you, supplying reassurance, light and peace.