I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway’ Rom.7:20 TM
Let’s not pretend, we are all caught in the guilt net. Getting in is easy, but we need help to get out. Sadly, some never do. The Bible is clear and simple ‘All have sinned’. Adam and Eve were enticed into it by curiosity. David was drawn into by sexual lust and power. The nation of Israel crawled into it through covetousness and rebellion. When the leaders brought the woman before Jesus thinking what a ‘catch’ they had made, he asked them to look within their own heart; only to realize they were caught in the same net and silently left – not a stone was thrown! Adam and Eve were sought out and provided with garments. David’s error was exposed by Nathan and prompted his open confession. The prophets did all they could to liberate Israel constantly challenging the nation’s motive and warning of the consequences arising, but they were rejected.
Guilt is something we feel, normally following our own actions, but not always. The policy of apartheid in this country and entrenched racial distinction and discrimination in America, supported by religious people, was designed to ‘make’ a people feel guilty, or inferior by a genetic factor over which they had no control; birth, pigmentation trapped them in the guilt net. Thank God for those who opposed this social evil and those finding deliverance to discover their real potential and identity as God’s people, proving their ability in the community by their personal development and achievement.
However, guilt is not limited to religious factors today. Perfectionism is a societal standard. A young mother burdened by financial threats places her child into the ‘Day Care’ of someone else, guilt accompanies her as she drives away. Older children come home from school with requests for books, or equipment beyond the family budget and parents, knowing the deprivation each child suffers among their peers at school, feel guilty at their inability to provide. A student attaining two “A’s” at university is stricken guilty by his Dad’s remark “Why didn’t you try harder? I’m sure you can do better”. A young wife who does not satisfy her husband’s expectations, when among others who are having rollicking success, keeps silent because of her guilt feelings. Guilt silently poisons the essence of life, which is what Christ said he came to give.
The feeling of guilt is a normal human experience which we are reluctant to talk about. A sense of shame, unhappiness or failure makes us wish we could tear that page from our album. We think it is a private matter even though another party is involved, or trust violated. What we may regard as ‘dirty linen’, whatever its nature, be it miniscule or of some magnitude, we keep to ourselves pushing it out of mind. Our silence can become a breeding ground for mental, emotional and physical imbalances such as depression, regret, self-reproach, unhappiness, anxiety, withdrawal, fear and stress. The specter of being exposed sits on our shoulder destroying any sense of peace. The disquiet can rise significantly in church or religious company – who, we mistakenly imagine, have no such shadows within. We all have a shadow side. The Bible leaves us in no doubt, but never speaks of shame; the limitless magnitude of God’s mercy is seen in Jesus’s story – eagerly welcoming the prodigal home.
Thinking of the national trend of intermarriage Ezra declared ‘our guilt has reached the heavens’ 9:6-7. The psalmist said his sin was always before him he wanted a detergent to blot it out 51. The writer of Proverbs says we cannot conceal guilt and prosper 28:13. As many brave journalists today report corrupt practices in governing bodies who contradict their promises the biblical prophets exposed the nation as guilty of betraying God, but went on to assure them ‘God can dissolve their guilt in the depths of the ocean Micah 7, (no fishing allowed!) John says guilt ‘loves darkness and hates the light. 3:20, but light can disperse darkness. The religious leaders who Jesus said were blind, while claiming to see, said their guilt remained 9:41. Later in his letter John writes ‘if we claim to be without guilt we lie’ 1:1-2.
Is there a way out of this net? Let us be honest with God to who our life is an open book. He knows us better than we know ourselves. We can begin with forgiveness for our self and others. We are all ‘wounded’ is how Henri Nouwen would describe us. We are to accept our wounded self. Jesus does. The recognition of our common condition should make us more gentle and tolerant in our relations. In open acknowledgment of being caught in this net Thomas Merton writes, ‘Surrender your poverty and acknowledge your nothingness to the Lord. Whether you understand it or not, God loves you, is present in you, lives in you, dwells in you, calls you, saves you, and offers you an understanding and companion which are like nothing you have ever found in a book or heard in a sermon.’ Jesus deletes sin and restores relations by his limitless, cleansing forgiveness. We are his ‘beloved’.